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Sunday, November 21, 2010

When Your Child Says, "It's not fair!"

You've just asked or told your child to do something he doesn't want to do.  he looks at you with angry eyes and says, "Its not fair!"  Or your daughter wants to do something and you won't let her do it.  She gets huffy and says in a loud voice, "That's not fair!"

How do you respond?  CALMLY.

You do NOT want to get into an argument or discussion defending your position to your child.  After all, you ARE the parent; you have a right to be in charge; especially when you're dealing with young children and those acting like young children.  Children who say this to their parenbts are merely working at manipulating the situation so they get their way.

I suggest looking at your child calmly and quietly saying noithing else except, "I know."  If your child continues to explain why this is upsetting, you continue saying, "I know."  If your child says something that poushes your buttons, you can smile and say, "Honey, I loe you too much to argue."  Then you should walk away.

This is a great Parenting with Love & Logic technique.  If your voice is calm and quiet, your child can't argue as much--there's no wood being added to the fire of arguments to keep things burning.  Your child will eventually calm down and give up when things don't go his or her way.


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