Out of Control Teen Daughter, Single Dad Seeks Advice

007Dad on our forum: I am a single parent and my beautiful 15 year old teenage daughter is acting out and I have a good suspicion she is doing drugs or something, but no proof.

I have put her on restriction and she sneaks out, I have tried taking things away and she adapts. Every time we have those father daughter talks, all I get it what she thinks I want to hear.

I have seen snoop software that will record every phone call and text message from her cell phone, and record everything that happens on my computer when I am not home.

I know this sounds a little James Bond. But after hearing about those drug parties that are going on where the kids take drugs from their parents home and put them in a bowl and then they just start taking them, a girl died a couple weeks ago from doing this and this has me extremely concerned. I think the James Bond tactics are more then fair if it saves her life. Please tell me what you think?

Denise's thoughts: While I can understand why you feel the need to get the software, in your case I wouldn't bother. If you think that your daughter is taking drugs and doing things she shouldn't, it's time to act.

Make your rules and the consequences clear. Tell her you are going to start checking up on her, and then do it. Start calling parents of the friends where she says she is going to be and go to the parties and pick her up.

But beyond that, start some preventative action by finding other places for her to be and things for her to do. Activities, sports or a job. Something that takes up her time. Sit down with her and start talking about her future and hand her some dreams about what she can be doing beyond partying this weekend with friends. I always found my teens got very interested when catalogs from technical schools and colleges would come in the mail in their name. Go to the websites and sign her up for some.

Try placing your energy in creating something positive for her, instead of trying to 'catch' her. You're already are sure she is doing things she shouldn't. You don't need to validate that to parent her. Now, if you think she has gone too far and you aren't able to help her past her problems, you can look into Programs for Troubled Teens. Otherwise keep trying.

Asking our community: Do you have some advice to offer this Dad? Has your teen gone out of control? How did you handle it? Please share your experiences, advice and opinions in the comments area.

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